When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride
Isaac Watts
I had read the bible and was fully
assured in my heart that I believed its every word. I had avidly testified that
I was following its instruction, but when I was called upon by the Holy Spirit
to step out on it alone and prove my claims by laying aside any works or deeds
that I had done, trusting only in the grace of God for any hope of salvation, I
was terrified. I found that I didn’t believe it as much as I professed.
With my hands emptied of my labors
and having been stripped of my cloak of self-righteousness, I was suddenly
standing before God naked, realizing that I had absolutely nothing on which to
claim any good in my life. I searched and poured into the depths of my soul,
but to no avail. I could find only darkness and the ugly scars of a sinful
life.
Frantically
I began to seek and search for something, anything whereby to stake my claim.
It was then that I caught a glimpse of what looked like a tiny silhouette on
the distant horizon. There was something about this sight that I could not
ignore. It was almost as if I was being drawn to it. I nervously began to move
in the direction of the scene. Everything within me told me to turn around; to
go back to the place from whence I had come, but there seemed to be a force
that continued to draw me ever closer to that horizon. After traveling for some
time, I finally began to come near to my destination. I could see that a crowd
had gathered around the base of what looked like a small knoll. From my vantage
point, I could not yet make out what was taking place. As I drew even closer, I
could hear and see that some within the crowd were weeping, but most were
shouting obscenities.
I had yet
to see the object of their emotional outbursts. There were just too many in
front of me, so I began to push my way though the throng. When I finally
stepped through an opening, I found myself looking upon a scene that will
forever be seared into my memory. There before me was a man writhing in the
throes of death. His body quivered with uncontrollable spasms. He shook from head
to toe as one might react from being chilled on a cold wintry day. I could see
that his feet did not touch the ground; that his body was suspended above the
earth. It was then I saw in horror that he was impaled upon a tree with what
looked to be large iron spikes. Each wrist had one of these spikes driven
through it. Another spike was driven through both feet, which were placed one
on top of the other. The foot that was visible was blackened from the bruises
caused by the hammer as it missed it mark and crushed the flesh below it.
There were
two other men that hung on either side of him but my attention was drawn to
only this one man.
He was bloody from his head to his
feet. The crimson fluid dripped from his elbows and from his toes; carried
there by gravity from the many, terrible wounds that covered his body. Some of
the droplets had coagulated, which, when caught up by the wind, were spun into
what looked like tiny wisps of scarlet threads stringing out in the breeze.
His face
was marred beyond recognition; swollen and disfigured from what seemed to be
many beatings. His hair was matted looking as if molasses had oozed from his
scalp. Around the perimeter of his head was a band of intertwined thorny vines.
Due to the blood, I could not see where the tiny spears entered his scalp, but
many of the longer thorns were visible through the exit wounds on his forehead.
He had on no clothes, which went unnoticed at first, since his skin, which
looked much like a torn and tattered garment, was hanging in shreds from sinew
and bone.
When I
looked into his face I saw that he was looking down at me through barely opened
eyes. Swelling had all but closed them leaving only tiny slits through which he
gazed.
I had never
met this man or at least I had no memory of him, but there was a strange
feeling of guilt within me; that I had something to do with the cause of his
misery, but stranger still was the sensation that he knew me. As he looked
intently at me, I saw on his bloody face what seemed to be a look of pity; yet
it was not for himself but for me. Why would he look at me in such a manner?
Should it not be the other way around? Should I not be the one pitying him?
I stared in stunned silence,
wondering within myself with what type of heinous crime he was accused of for
him to be treated in such a manner. Why was no mercy shown this man? I could
not explain it, but somehow I knew that this was an unjust sentence delivered
to an innocent man, but I needed to hear it from his lips!
It was then
that I cried out, “Why is it that you hang there?” “Why are you in the
condition?” “What is it that you are accused of that would deserve such
torture?”
I heard a faint sound, which at
first I thought to be the wing of a bird in flight. Then I noticed that his
lips, contorted from the impact of the many fists that pummeled them, were
moving, but only barely. I could not make out what he was saying. I began to
cry louder, above the din of the crowd. “What is it you are saying”, “Tell me”,
“Why is it that you suffer so?” “Why have you been placed in this position of
such agony?” “I must have an answer!” “WHY?” “WHY?” I found myself no longer
worrying about the crowd or that anyone might notice me.
It was then I heard his voice,
which was barely audible, yet it echoed through my heart, piercing my soul
asunder. He said only seven words. Seven words that shall ring in my heart for
eternity!
He said,
“For…you…!” “I…do …this…for…you!”
My heart gave way, as a cave may
implode upon itself. I realized fully
now that he was indeed innocent. It was I who was the guilty
party. Somehow I understood that he was dying FOR ME; that he had somehow taken
my place; that He somehow had become me.
I wept bitterly as I came to
realize that my sins were so great as to require such torment and suffering,
and that another would take this suffering upon himself rather that watch me
bear it. I was reduced to nothingness.
With what little strength he had
left within him, he slowly lifted his head, then cried loudly,
“IT IS FINISHED”!
His head quickly dropped, and then
with the last breath he had taken, he quietly whispered,
“Father into thy
hands I commend my spirit”.
A moment later a soldier walked up
with spear in hand. He prodded him and cursed him for a moment just to see if
there may be any movement. After finding no response, the soldier placed the
spear on the skin between two ribs and with both hands “shoved” upward with all
his might. There was no reaction. The only movement of his body was caused from
the force of the soldier’s spear. As the soldier jerked the blade from its
mark, there came forth from the wound, water with a little blood mingled in. I
realized that by the time, the soldier used his weapon, there was very little
blood left in the body of this man. The only fluid left was a clear plasma that
had gathered in his chest cavity.
I heard, to the left of me, a man
cry out “Surely this was the Son Of God”.
When I looked to see who it was
that had said these words, I saw another soldier, on his knees, face wet with
tears begging for forgiveness that he had helped carry out such an unjust act.
When I looked back to the tree I
saw that this man’s eyes were again fixed on me, only now it was a blank stare.
As I thought on what had just taken place, I began to sob uncontrollably, but
at the same time, I felt that the world had been lifted from my shoulders.
Somehow I knew that all the sins I had committed and the guilt I carried were
gone as he breathed his last breath of humanity.
I still have not yet come to
understand love of this magnitude or how that one can love another when there
is nothing lovable! I do not how this transaction was done, nor can I
understand why it was carried out!
When I now have doubts as to the
power of God’s love, or when I find myself doubting His love toward me, I
return to this scene where I find that I was allowed to live, for the simple
reason that another took upon him the punishment I deserved.
I am still full of errors and my
many mistakes cause me to stumble often, but I know that my sin debt has been
paid. My life has been forever changed by what happened on that terrible,
precious day.
I can never repay my Lord for what
did FOR ME. I can only try to live by the philosophy that since he died for me,
it should be only reasonable that I live for him??
Sam Everett